Dr Arrogant

So. Forgive me if this post doesn't make sense, I'm really still processing it all.

Yesterday, Husband and I left work at 1:45 for our 1st RE appt at 2pm. We were told it would be about 40-50 minutes - so that puts us back at work around 3pm right? Cool - Just take it as a late lunch and we are good to go. Wrong! We arrived with plenty of time, checked in, was given loads more paperwork to look over and a very intimidating price guide (YIKES!!!!). I asked if he was running on time and they said yes.... At 2:25 we still had not been taken in so I asked again, and they said we were next. The nurse finally called us in, she took my vitals and weight (yuk - I have got to lay off the chocolate) and then a student Dr came in and apologized for the delay (something about a complicated ultrasound) to go over our history. She verbally asked us all the questions that I had filled out in that damn 6 page packet. Can they not f-ing read? I would have been happy to mail it over early or to fax it to save time. Ugh! Finally just after 3p, Dr came in also apologizing for delay and we got down to business. My OBGYN had warned me that he was an arrogant bastard and that I wouldn't like him - she was right. So I will call him Dr Arrogant.

1. Dr Arrogant reviewed my records and then proceeded to bash all her methods and pretty much told me everything she did was incorrect.
2. Dr Arrogant said anything over a 2 for progesterone levels on day 21 was ovulation and that there was no difference in ovulation quality. Dr Arrogant doesnt do day 21 Progesterone blood work because it shows nothing. (OK- a friend of mine who worked with the other fertility clinic in town said her doc said the same as my OBGYN anything lower than a 6 wasn't optimal and she did day 21 draws.)
3. Dr Arrogant said she should only have done 6 cycles of the clomid not 12. But I didn't really even need that now did I? Because as he had proven, I was ovulating.
4. Dr Arrogant said her charting for my ultrasounds and surgery was irregular periods and pain. He would have charted it as irregular bleeding. So he thinks she was stretching. Though it did rule out endometriosis and proved that my tubes were open.
5. Dr Arrogant is going to send a letter to my Dr to educate her on what she did wrong with my case. That really offended me - she did what I asked her to do and I told him that. We were trying to be fiscally responsible, she was assisting and he's going to write her a letter? Great, now I'm in the middle of a pissing war between my doc's. Especially cause he mentioned it several times during the appt. I hope she's expecting that....ugh!
6. Dr Arrogant then asked about my husbands semen analysis (SA) reports and I said the urologist should have sent them over (side note: On the 30th, I specifically asked for the records to be transferred for the appt on the 8th - they weren't there. When I called this am, the 9th, the girl says oh I'm sorry do you want me to send them now? Yes you f'ing little b-tch and can you pay for the appt we wasted too?) Dr Arrogant said well they are not here are they? So we really can't discuss anything other than hypothetical. He also told me to go pick them up personally. What a f-ing waste! If I had time to do that in the first place I would have.
7. Dr Arrogant wants to do new SA and depending on those results, which I expect to be poor, do another. Depending on those results, which I again expect to be poor, we should see his urologist. I asked what the difference was between ours and his and without asking who we saw, said that only 2 Dr's in Milwaukee specialized in reproductive urology. I asked a specific question about where the other Dr practices and guess what? That's the doc we saw last year! But his guy is better and more versed so we should go to him. Of course!
8. In an attempt to figure out how much this all may cost us and what insurance may cover, I asked about how the clinic did the billing. Do they label it all the codes for infertility, or is some of the testing covered etc...just trying to understand. Because I know that my insurance will not cover anything that is labeled infertility. Dr Arrogant proceeded to go into a speech about how some Dr's will fudge the codes so it is paid for but that's cheating everyone. He pretty much said that all his stuff is labeled infertility treatment. He also mentioned that the ultrasounds my Dr gave me every month was a waste of $ and if he was an insurance claims person he would take one look at my chart and know that we were trying to have a baby and deny it all.
9. Dr Arrogant will do insemination after all the SA's are done and I think would be willing to try another fertility drug (Femera). It would cost $800-$1300. Sigh.
10. He did give us a follow up sheet with his recommendations from the appt to take home....I was so disappointed and discouraged that I haven't even looked at it.

We left there at 3:50 and walked back into work at 4pm. Thank goodness our bosses are aware of our situation and are very flexible - it still made me nervous. We were an hour later than expected.

I immediately went into bitter shut down mode. We cant afford any of this. We haven't gotten all the billing for my surgery and I expect our portion to be about $1500-$2000. Not alot in the grand scheme of things but that will suck up alot of our savings. Leaving us with none to pay the RE clinic with. And as you all know, you have to pay for those services up front. So lets just save our $, stop looking for a 3 bedroom house and just get a 2 bedroom one - that will save even more $. I will plan a huge rummage sale in May and we can make some $ and stop paying for storing all that baby crap - whoo-hoo more $! Then we can get off this f-ing roller coaster. (I do seem to like the F word today - sorry. It has good enunciation and feels good in my frustration)

Several dear friends and even my husband told me to take some time and rationally process this. It is possible I am PMS'ing as well - today is cycle day 29. A very wise friend stopped me from going down the "I've wasted so much $ and time on this and all for what" road. She said whats done is done and you can only move forward. She is also a nurse and said that while she wishes he wasn't so rude, Dr Arrogant is an expert and he is best qualified to assist us in our path to a second child. Or the poor house, you pick. Oh, wait, that's right we are already there.

OK I have gone to the dark side and need to stop now. I know E is right in her assessment of all of it. My other friends are too. I love you all - thank you for your endless patience with me.