Thursday, September 17, 2009

Surgery tomorrow

Well, from title post you will correctly guess that there will be no baby arriving around our anniversary in May. :( I am going in for surgery tomorrow morning at 11am. Surgery details can be found in earlier post.

Strangely, I am not nervous. Yet. Tomorrow am might be a better time to ask that question. I really am hopeful that we will get the answers we are looking for - good or bad - so we can make educated decisions and move forward.

I am praying hard that all she is going to do in there will allow us a renewed shot at having another child. I am frightened that she will tell me something bad, that I will have to face the knowledge that there wont be any more cute, blond-haired, blue-eyed Motley babies in the world. On the plus side of that, I could have a humongous rummage sale in the spring and unload a whole storage unit worth of baby stuff.

I am sure I will post after - several days of no driving will probably make me go crazy looking for stuff to do!!!! Prayers are appreciated!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Update/too much to hope for?

Well, I've been avoiding writing for awhile - wasn't sure what to say. Scared to think some stuff and out of town for 4 days over the holiday. But I should probably update you on whats been going down so here goes.

Husband was still real unsettled (which in turn had me real unsettled) about the potential surgery so I set up a consultation appointment with my Dr so that he could go too. God I love her! She explained everything she was going to do and why in detail (w/animated actions to go along with it) and he felt much better. We decided that we would do the surgery to take that "What if" question off the board. We are never going to go as far as IVF so now if we don't end up with any more babies, I will know that we investigated every angle. And now husband and I are on the same page and that feels better! Way better!

We also set up an appointment for a few weeks after surgery with an actual Fertility clinic that is about 2 blocks from where we work. We shall see what they say. If they say IVF is our only option - we will be done. Not sure what to do with that - but expecting Dr said the fertility Dr was very good. An arrogant bastard, but very good. Glad she warned me! Maybe now I won't cry. Who am I kidding?

Now on to what I'm afraid to write about. I have had slightly sore breasts since last Thursday, increasing in tenderness as the days go by. I'm not due to get AF until Sunday. That's a long time isn't it? This morning my shirt seemed to be harsh on my nipples as I headed to the bathroom. Could I be? Is my body just playing tricks on me? Dare I hope? Is it too much to hope for? SOooooo tempted to test. Trying to wait until at least Saturday. Praying for a positive - due date would be my anniversary! Yes I checked...totally lame right?

Sigh - so long for now.