As I near the end of my pregnancy, I have found myself very emotional. I have read its increased hormones, but really I just am overwhelmed with blessings. The holidays are not helping! Thanksgiving was just two weeks ago and I found myself just glowing with thankfulness. I kept looking at Husband and saying I'm so thankful for everything in our lives. He would just hug me, give me a kiss and say me too. Now I am always aware of what I have been blessed with, this year just seems highlighted . I thought that once the day of Thanksgiving had passed that my emotions would ease.....not so much.
My birthday is coming up this week and Christmas rears its head just 2 weeks after that. My family is big into make a list and we try to make wishes come true. I have struggled to make interesting lists for several years, we were on such a strict budget that writing blue jeans on the list was a splurge for me (not so much for my family but they tolerate). This year, was no exception; and I found that list making was incredibly hard. I put together a small list of things that would be nice to have and might be helpful in our lives. (No clothing as who knows what size I will be after baby. ) Well, Husband, mother and sister have been all over me for more interesting ideas. I just don't have any. I finally looked at Husband the other day, burst into tears and said, I am just so blessed this year, how can I possibly ask for anything else? Sure I have wishes and needs but....seriously, they seem so trivial.
After 8 years of marriage (and almost 2 years before that) living in apartments, we finally were able to buy our first house this year. After 3 years of trying to no avail, we have managed to get pregnant not once but twice this year. Of course the first ended badly, but it showed us that something was working and renewed our hope. Then the surprise of this pregnancy. The fear of the bleeding at the beginning was hard but all tests show perfect growth and development and we have a nursery decorated (mostly) in our new home and now just have to sit tight for his arrival. We are all healthy, J is happy, somehow the budget keeps working out every month and well...we are doing good.
Lord just the thought of all that brings me to tears. Hormones? Exhaustion (I'm not sleeping very well)? I have no idea I just feel like my cup is overflowing and have never felt this way in my whole life. I want to treasure it. I also just want to hold this little one in my arms and sob with relief. (I'm pretty sure thats whats gonna happen!)
So there you go, my state of mind at 34 weeks. Now to get through the next 3 when he will be full term and can come at anytime. I will post as soon as I can once he arrives I promise! If I don't get to write, have a happy holidays to you all. If you are waiting for your baby blessings, may peace and love guide you through this season. If you're baby blessings or any other life blessings have come to light this year, congratulations and may the feelings of blessings spill over onto others.