A request....

Hello Friends, some of you may be aware that back in March I was blessed to have participated in the 4^th Trimester Bodies Project.  If not, here is a link to the project: http://4thtrimesterbodies.com   spend some time reading.  Its amazing, and beautiful, and I am proud to be a part of it.

Here is the gorgeous picture of me and my boys that came out of that session: 

I am immensely proud of this photo, yet had not shared directly; instead posting the link so friends could find it on thier own. Today, I’m taking a deep breath and putting it out there.  Why the nerves?  I am not always comfortable in my skin, I feel thinner than I actually am.  I am often startled by images of myself in pictures.  AND I wear more than that to the beach. 

This leads me to my other point today.  The founder of this beautiful, empowering project, Ashlee, is being harassed by Facebook and Instagram for these “offensive” photos.  She has had several accounts deleted for the “inappropriate” content and yet as I scroll through my fb feed, I see way less clothing, I see way more offensive photos that remain unreported.  She and her team are taking legal action and a petition has been formed to aid in this process.   Please take a minute to sign the Change.org petition here http://bitly.com/4thtrijo.  Show the world and that mothers and women come in ALL shapes and ALL sizes and they are ALL beautiful!  #4thtrimesterbodiesproject#fourthtrimesterbodiesproject #4thtrimester #fourthtrimester #postpartum#breastfeeding #childbirth #bodypositivity #stopcensoringmotherhood#motherhood #bodypositive

All is Quiet.....NOT! :)

Hello Friends,

I had this moment of really needing to connect today.  I don't have a huge update, I don't have anything epic to say.  So how do you start with no specific anything?  I started with "All is Quiet" meaning nothing is really new but then I laughed out loud and thought, who am I kidding?  I live in chaos!  ALL. THE. TIME. It is fun and fine for us, but it is chaos!

School ended.  Apparently, I now have a 4th grader, eeek!  Speech class for Z is on break as well and he is having a speech explosion.  I can't wait for fall so they can see his progress.   Summer is going great.  Weather wise, its very strange here....Saturday it was very hot and humid, like move outside at all and start dripping in sweat. Yesterday, Wednesday, it was 57 and raining.  Today it will be 70 but I am still wearing a sweatshirt in the office.   This is all in July.  In Wisconsin. WEIRD!  Swimming lessons and baseball are in full swing (pun sort of intended), summer daycare adventures are happening and I'm looking ahead to a VERY busy July and August, leading into school starting in September and a big, highly anticipated, FUN trip to see a certain mouse before the end of that month.

If you recall, Husband was having some issues, mostly with work when I posted last, shortly after that post, work came to him and offered a new, involved and exciting opportunity.  He was sent to Slovenia for a week of training and he loved every minute of it.  I managed to hold down the fort at home from Saturday to Saturday when he was gone.  Thankfully he had grilled out a bunch before he left and left me lots of things to heat up and we were busy so it wasn't too bad.  He is home and happily settling into the new role at work. On that front, all is quiet!  ;)

I had buckled down in  February and was watching my eating again trying to lose some weight...AGAIN.  (I just like good food so much!)  I am down 6 -8 depending on the day from then, but I have a loong way to go. The hard part is the chaos, and no time for me; we are running almost every night for stuff.  Lunch is usually out as Dinner is late and either takeout or leftovers, IF we have remembered to arrange for leftovers or didn't take them to work already.  Here is what last week looked like for us just from 5pm to bedtime.

• Monday - J was supposed to have a baseball game but it rained out. So we took advantage and went to Vacation Bible School at church. Dinner of sloppy joes was served....got home by 8.
• Tuesday - Swim class night. I couldn't get Z into a later class than 5:00 (I work till 5 - sigh) so I hired a college girl to take them to the Y.  I send along lunchables, Z swims from 5-5:30, they eat dinner, I show up around 5:45 and send her home.  We all swim for a bit, J has class at 6:45 while Z and I continue to swim until 7:30 when J is done with class and they close the pool.  By the time we get home its 8 or a little after.  Baths are mandatory after swimming in a public pool and J is usually starving again.  Bedtime ends up around 9:30
• Wednesday - J usually has baseball practice. but I had him skip in order to attend VBS again. Dinner was served  - hot dogs and brats. Home after 8
• Thursday - was blissfully a down night... we went to the store, the boys got fried chicken from the deli, I was going to make shrimp pasta salad. The kitchen was a disaster so I cleaned that up so I could cook. Then it was bath time, then bedtime, THEN I got to make dinner and I think we ate around 9:30.
• Friday- I don't think we had plans, I think we stayed home....I cannot remember what we did.  
• Saturday - I ended up taking 2 boys to the Dr....they are fine.  Z needs to use an inhaler for a cough.  I attended 2 graduation parties, one alone and one with the boys.  They got to swim and it was almost 8 when we got home. 
• Sunday - we went to church, ate mac n cheese for lunch and took naps (boy did I need one), we went to the store for.....who knows, picked up pizza for dinner and called it a day.  

I am looking forward to a few days off with not many plans this weekend.  Hoping work lets us leave early today.

Wow for not a lot to say, this got long....sorry about that.  I do hope to post as our fun things happen for the next few months.  Have a wonderful Independence Day everyone!

What have I done?

Oh Friends, I did a horrible thing.  I have been carrying stress and exhaustion and frustration and disappointment around in my brain and my heart.   Lots of things. Nothing major, nothing small.  I'm just struggling a  bit.

So here goes, Husband and I were having a serious discussion last night that started when the boys were outside playing.  By the time they got in, we were frustrated with each other and not even close to being done.  I put Z in our room to watch TV and J in his to do homework.  And we continued to push each others buttons, not solving anthing.  Mind you, we rarely fight, argue etc....and we don't do it well/gracefully when we do.  So J innocently came out of his room as his homework was done....and I SCREAMED at him to go back into his room and GO AWAY.

WTH people?  I occasionally raise my voice to get things done.  But I SCREAMED.....he was afraid.  I made my child afraid.  I apologized, hugged him, told him to be a good boy for daddy and ran outside to the car and began crying.  Sobbing.  What did I do? I have damaged him, his trust, his heart.   I eventually came back in and numbly went through the evenings motions.  Crying through most of it.  I loved him and cuddled him and he said it was alright. But I told him over and over that it wasn't alright.

I misplaced my anger, frustration and emotions onto the wrong person. I feel awful.  Today, my eyes are swollen and I feel like crap.  I don't want to engage with others......I just .......I am sorry friends.  I am sorry for not being a good mommy.

I am trying to go with the fact that today is a new day.   Today I get to try again.  But I'm not feeling very good about things.    I needed to share this with you.

Fun things

Hello friends.

Yup, I'm back and it hasn't been 4 months....weird huh? :)

Shortly after I wrote last time, we had a significant snowfall but with the pleasure of it being more like 30 degrees outside instead of -30. You know, how winter should be!  We took advantage and all went out to "shovel".  Husband blew snow, J did a little shoveling, there was a lot of J and Z tumbling and playing in the yard and I took advantage with my camera.  It was a nice hour or so.

Here is a great pic of J in the snow.

 And playing nicely together!

 And Z...(yes, I think he is licking snot....but  hes still cute)

Recently, we had another first.  J got glasses!  He said to me the week prior, "Mom, when are we going to the eye doctor?"  I was like ".....ummmm I don't know why?"  Well apparently things are getting blurry at a distance, esp after doing something close up.  So off we went on Saturday morning and came home with these:

He is so excited and proud.  He looks so grown up and studious!

We are in a spring thaw. It was in the 50's on Monday!  Snow is melting and it is great.   (shhhhh dont talk about that it is only going to be 18 or something silly by this evening.)I'm enjoying the hint of spring.   Finally - it is MARCH!

Have a great day everyone!

Neglectful, regretful.....busy busy life

Hello Friends.

Oh how I am neglectful. I haven't written since SEPTEMBER!  Seriously, WTH is wrong with me?  Oh that's right, our little hamster wheel of life just keeps spinning and there is NO time. Ex: I didn't eat dinner (a bowl of avocado and sliced tomato followed up with peanut butter toast and chocolate milk) until like 10 last night.  Don't worry the boys were fed....I just didn't have time, and never sat down until then.

So how are the growing pains in our house.  Better than ever! I think I may have to bullet point this catch up....(pics if available)

• We attended Husbands Grandmothers 100th birthday celebration in November.  100 years friends!!  Amazing, she is amazing.  We got to spend time with many of Husbands extended family from all over the country.  So nice to reconnect and introduce our boys to some of them.  Love this pic!

• Thanksgiving was just as it should be.  Family, food and a nice long weekend. 
• We had a delightful Christmas, spent with the ones we love.  Gifts were carefully selected and we tried not to over do it this year.  Everyone seems happy.  
• New years was spent overeating at my sister-in-laws.  A yummy tradition we all enjoy.  The kids get to see their cousins, we all get to eat and visit. 
  
  
• J turned 9!  He is such a sweet boy, but he is growing up fast.  He got a Kindle Fire for Christmas and can usually be found either reading on it or playing games.  He is doing well in school, loving on Math and Science.  His school became an Integrated Arts school this year; art is part of most every lesson!  I LOVE IT!   (Pic is from A.ppleb.ees birthday dinner - he was feeling shy and I got ZERO pics with his hands away from his face - mom fail)
  
• Z turned 3!  He is also just a sweet boy.  He often greats us with an enthusiastic, "Mama (or Dat or Jaja), I missed you!" and a huge hug.  Love.  He is still a whirlwind of energy, but has will slow down  to cuddle and I so love that.  He was dismissed from the Birth to Three Program for Speech Therapy due to his age and the School District has taken over.  He happily goes with his sitter to "Speech School" twice a week. (pic in green shirt is from first day) He has had a speech explosion and is talking ALL. THE. TIME.!  Its wonderful.......and exhausting! Potty training....is slowly happening; sort of as he decides to....no pressure here. He goes a few times a day on the toilet but is often wet.  We will get there.  
  
  
• We are struggling through this long, cold, craptacular winter.   Its just too cold to play outside.  Im sick of bundling up, dressing warm, hats mittens boots, YUK! We have had school closed several times, and we even worked from home one of those days.  Husband on the PC in the living room, me on a laptop in the family room, the boys....everywhere, the house, destroyed.  Here is a hot cocoa break  and an unattended boy surfing on the couch pillow.  Thank goodness that pic was taken at 5pm...cant imagine what would have happened after that!

Well that is a high level overview....we are doing well.  I hope you all are too.  I log in and read blogs almost every day if not, then every day or so....Stay well, Stay safe, Stay warm!

Have a wonderful day!

Phone call

Hello Friends!

We have had the potty seat out at our house for awhile now.  Just available.  Sitting on it occasionally, nothing happening.  Whatever.  On Thursday night, Z asked to sit on it and accomplished... PEE!  And Friday night, and Saturday night, and Sunday night too!

I told the sitter this morning and today, while lunching at Br.avo with my BFF from FL, my phone rang.  Sitter.  Oh shoot (she rarely calls.....).  I answer and she says Z needs to talk to me.  "Mama pee an poo!!!!"   WOW! YAY!!!! So now I am very excited with out saying pee or poo, in the middle of the restaurant.    My BFF is chuckling very hard at my struggle.  So was I. 

So there you go.  Z is leading his potty training.  No stress, no pressure. Just offering to go before nap and bed for now.  Here's to it going as easily as it did for J. We are on the same track!

Have a great day everyone!  I'm smilin'!

Catching my breath!

Hello Friends!

I am sorry to have kept you hanging.  The acquisition at work has been nothing short of a blessing.  But I have been SOOOOOOOOO busy.  I get to work at 8 (ok 8:15) and all of a sudden it's 5.  That is good.  But tiring.  And exciting!

I did lose my General Manager title.  I am now Operations Director (previously Operations Manager so its still a step up).  And I am happy with that.  That is what I truly do here, it fits in my head and in my heart.  I make sure the day to day goes well.  I do it well and am recognized for doing it well.  I have taken on some other responsibilities and I like them.

Husband was so unhappy with previous management. Which was hard because I was part of the management but I had no say and things were a bit weird.  We wouldn't talk about work cause it made me sad that he was unhappy and admittedly I didn't handle it as gracefully as I should have.  He was job searching and I didn't want to know because I felt like in my position, I knew our lead (only) developer was looking and I should tell someone but then I would be breaking marital privilege and if I did tell he probably would have been walked out and we need his salary.....it was yukky. For a long time.  So we had come to where I knew he was looking and I knew he had interviews and meetings with recruiters but no details other than that.    And we just kinda lived on edge.  Then the acquisition happened and now we work for a global software publishing company.  Husband is now one of 26 developers and is working for the type of company he was looking to work for!  He called all the recruiters and told them he was not looking anymore!  Rides home are good again.  We can talk about work again.   There is no more uncertainty.  It is good.

And guess what!?  As part of this, he needs to go to Headquarters overseas to meet with the main development team, and so do I so, they are talking about sending me at the same time!  How cool is that? No date to travel yet but it may even be before the holidays!

All this happened right before we headed to South Dakota for a family celebration.  My dad had gone out the week before to spent time with his brother in Nebraska so he and that family met us there.  My mom, who doesn't have as much vacation time as my dad, drove with us. The boys did great in the car.  We did 3 hours on Thursday night and 5 on Friday morning.  Spent Friday late afternoon, all day Saturday and Sunday with family celebrating, visiting, seeing and doing some things in town and having a wonderful time.  My cousins who were there are aged 17-25 and they were all sweet and inclusive with my boys, I am so blessed.  As part of the celebration, on Saturday, my aunt arranged a chuck wagon catered meal with the food all cooked in dutch oven right in the coals for the family and their close friends.  So yummy and it looked cool too.

Here are my boys at a beautiful park on the SDSU grounds on Sunday. 

We drove the whole way home on Monday with only the last hour and a half being awful.  Truthfully,it wasn't all that bad we just all wanted to be done in the car.  Here are the boys at a rest stop as we headed home.  A welcome sign:

Tuesday we all jumped back into work, and.... J ended up with strep .  Here he is at the Dr., one sick and sad little boy.

On Wednesday, the sitter called me and said she had strep.  Crap!  So I took Z in for rule out culture (cause he had been so exposed and had a weird cough) here he is at the Dr.  Thankfully, no strep!

My goal for the rest of that week was to NOT go back to the Dr.  Sadly, by Sunday, Husband had a weird stomach thing and was cramping so badly he asked me to take him to urgent care.  Sigh!  It was just a flu, but man I'm over it!

On to better things. I have a third grader!  Who insisted on wearing this on the first day!  Handsome!

We are settling into the new normal of this school year.  J is playing soccer (shhhh: I don't think its his sport.  He wants to be goalie so he doesn't have to run so much!) and has joined Cub Scouts.  And of course there is immediately a fund raiser.  Here he is proudly wearing his new uniform and selling his stuff to a few close friends in my moms neighborhood.

Oh an I also had another rummage sale to try to sell the rest of our baby stuff. The one we had in July was a great learning tool.  I knew how to better display and it wasnt a holiday weekend.  All the big baby stuff that we are done with is gone.  (ex: we still have 2 strollers but we are using them.) We are down to 3 bins of really nice baby cloths that I will try again with next summer.  I donated some stuff and there is visable space it the basement!

OK, I'm done. Whew!  You are pretty well caught up and can see why I have not been on here in the last 6 weeks. Holy Cow that was only 6 weeks!!!!!!  :)   Have a great day everyone!